TL;DR - I was off social media (as much as I could be) for the month of October and I learned some things about myself or whatever. still got a lot of love for you all.
things I liked: by cutting down on the noise, I was generally less angry, jealous, or frustrated. it always seems like there’s something to be perturbed by, from the inane nonsense to the moral conundrums and everything in between. I focused more on what I thought and felt; I tried to prioritize myself more with my opinions.
I enjoyed the time where I felt that I didn’t need to perform, even as someone who likes being a performer. this is an issue that I have to work through, not necessarily an indictment of social media, but I feel like I was deciding if what I was doing or enjoying was worth posting or not and that’s not the point of doing things.
I am so thankful for any moment of community that I experienced. there were so many moments that I just lived in without feeling the need to document them to chase some sort of approval. with that in mind, I think I know how I want to carry on from here. capturing and posting memories can be important for myself and my retention.
things I didn’t like: I didn’t like how it felt that the world was moving on without me at times. I felt less connected to current events and things that were going on in people’s lives. I recognize that a lot of people maintain connection with me because I maintain presence on social media, and I’m grateful for that. without it, things are a little more lonely.
I really didn’t like how much I slipped up and checked things even though I wanted to be steadfast on not being so online. social media is so addicting… it’s not always a problem, but sometimes it is. when I was trying to avoid it, it would evoke feelings of being forbidden fruit.
things I want to remember:
it’s okay to step away from things to protect my peace, but I want to put more emphasis on being present and pointed
I want to think about my own voice and expression without the context of someone else’s
this isn’t specifically related to social media, but I want to celebrate the smaller wins more often because lord knows I focus too much on every loss
I still got a lot of stuff I want to work on from here but I think the break was a good step on the way to being a better me. even after a lot more talk about centering myself, I still wonder if it’s “okay” to talk about simple weaknesses. I’ve re-written this a couple times over for some reason. oh well.
much love, everyone. thanks for reading.